Sage, I have been posting over on MLC for a while. I thought my X was having a quarter life crisis at first. He was a runaway H who left me a year after the birth of our baby. Was he uncomfortable with the monumental life change? Yes. Was he having an affair? Yes. Was it a quarter life crisis? Maybe. Was it acceptable to me? Absolutely not.
Defining the problem is just a survival mechanism your brain uses to reconcile the unpalatable fact that your life partner has viciously and carelessly turned on you. My advice would be to stop untangling the skein. Does it matter why he does what he does or why he is who he is? The only question should be is this acceptable to you or not.
Take the focus off your H. I posed these questions to May and you might find it useful to think about them as well. What do you want in a partner? What values are important to you, and important for your children to learn? How do you want to be treated in a relationship? What unmet needs did you have in the M?
