Of course this is all too late to him... and what hurts is how I see it all now. Perhaps if I had remained ignorant I wouldn't be in so much pain... the pain of just wishing he cared enough to see I get it now.
Look KK I can see you are working hard but it is clearly all about manipulation and control. It's gonna take some time before you actually get it and are able truly act without fear being the motivator. You can't undo 51 years in four months. I don't tell you 2-5 years to discourage you. That's just the reality. It will take your husband 2-5 years of consistent actions to see you really changed and it will take 2-5 years for him to seek the cracks in his and his GFs foundation. You won't have to tell him your reading books, he will know you are reading books.
For sure I'm a strong personality with a hard drive. A lot of issues came up over time in our M. I recognize them now. And, I get it... you'd be surprised how much I have changed just recognizing how my actions were coming across.
Even though our interactions have been limited I'm sure H has noticed but I totally get that he isn't going to believe that I've suddenly changed completely. But, I have been approaching things with a different set of eyes and ears.
Either way I know I still have more work to do.
And, I have to really come to acceptance that he has found his happy place and its not with me any longer.
