The only reason I would contact is because when he last opened up he was angry that I had still not done as he had asked about the account --- not doing it is not listening to him right?
NO! That's not it at all.
Not sure what you mean here?
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Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm stressed because this is a lack of control on my part.
Ahhh. You are being honest with yourself KK. That's rare for you.
I've been driven into action by anxiety so I've really tried to make myself sit and think about my reaction and why (or coming here when I'm not sure) SURPRISE!!! I have been working on myself... LOL
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Originally Posted by KitCat
If I am afraid, which is what control is... what am I afraid of??? I'm afraid of the unknown, I'm afraid of disappointing him/giving him more reasons why this doesn't work, afraid of making more mistakes, afraid of him being gone for good.
This is normal KK. The difference is not acting on it. 90% of the things we worry about never happen.
If you guys are both fair people you should be able to come to an agreement with little problem.
I'm trying to realize where my feelings of control come from. It hurts because I can look back in my M where I thought I was just doing the nice thing... clearly my H would be upset with me and ask me to stop... but did I? WHY? Because I thought I knew better than him??? NO - my H is a smart intelligent man why did I keep doing something he didn't want me to do??? Because I knew better??? OMG... I can't believe how I disrespected my H. No wonder he was suffering and wanted out.
Of course this is all too late to him... and what hurts is how I see it all now. Perhaps if I had remained ignorant I wouldn't be in so much pain... the pain of just wishing he cared enough to see I get it now.
For the longest time he was adamant about not wanting to screw me over but who knows where he is at if he is angry that he has to go get an atty. But, your right. There is no sense worrying about it now since there is nothing I can do about it.
