Just take a deep breath and understand it’s all part of the process. You are wise to not beg and plead and realize that it will just lower your value in his eyes.
Did he text you this information?
No ----
It showed up on the calendar.
Yes, I was already in the process of trying to figure out how to remove myself from his calendar and vice versa.
I could ask that he do it but I would have to contact him so trying to avoid.
Trust me.... my gut is screaming at me to make contact with him. I'm absolutely terrified of this process... I mean terrified of all the crap that goes back and forth and feeling like he is screwing me over financially... its just a struggle.
We’ve already discussed it. As usual you’re not listening to me. My feelings have changed.
Your last sentence is your brain trying to rationalize your situation to ease the pain of rejection.
So listening to him would be doing nothing?
So I am not able to ask him how things are going to move forward with the D at all? No discussion about attys or how we want to proceed with things in regard to D?
I get it - its either WAY too late or WAY to early to discuss anything in regards to the R or M. I suppose him not having an atty helped me to continue with the idea that he just needed some time or space.
Correct as far as not trying to talk him out of it. You love him and respect his wishes and want him to be happy.
As far as D wise. When the time is right try to meet with him and come to an agreement on your own. If you can agree on everything it will save you lots of money.
I would not try to talk him out of it - I know that wasted time.
But, maybe we should have a talk about the next step forward? Having him confirm he has atty and while still trying to be amicable we let them handle it - thoughts on what we each want out of this as far as D???
Can I assume that you saw this on his calendar? If so, I wouldn't say one word to him about it at this time. Why do I say this? Since he knows that you can see his calendar, he may have just put that out there to get you to break your NC w/him. If this is an actual appointment, allow him to come to you and tell you that he's met w/an attorney. It's time that you allow him to take a lead in this particular dance. You've done all of the work and worrying, give the man a chance to contact you about this one particular item. In the meantime, I would still get my ducks in a row and be ready for when he does contact you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
