May - I am a little busy right now, so I am just popping in to say one thing. My H still does bring the fact up that I kicked him out and changed the locks on him now and again. He really does! He's also made it into this massive sob story with his relatives, who I have very distant relations with now (mainly my choice, to be honest.) For a while I validated him about this - 'I know that was really upsetting for you,' and it got me nowhere. These days I just tell him the truth, 'Yes, I did - the way you were behaving was incompatible with family life. I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I needed do.' He doesn't like it, and I don't mind at all about him not liking it. I think if you focus on detachment, a lot of these fears you have about what your H will think or not think, or do or not do, will just fade away. I remember - I posted about this - H telling me that his colleagues at work were laughing at how upset I was when we were S. Now I actually doubt this is true, and if it is true, then that demonstrates something pretty unsavory about him and his colleagues, and if I were him I'd want to keep that unsavory fact to myself. It doesn't hurt at all. It isn't even mildly of interest. You will get there. You will. And every single time your H comes out with some of his selfish, chump like behaviour, he's actually helping you get there a little bit quicker - so long as you open your eyes and accept what is really happening and don't make excuses for him. You are on the right track and you are going to be fine.
Go and buy yourself your sexy lady detached sunglasses. And an Audrey Hepburn hat.
