Regarding OM, Steve you are right that my emotions are all about me finding out about OM. However, I still have my feelings about introducing new people in a child's life. I will eventually voice my opinions and then try as hard as I can to expect nothing. I have started working on an email/text with some things for her to consider. Ex. I want us to move to having the kids a week at a time (today 2,2,3). If she cant decide on the house I will start looking for other places for me and the kids. My view on introducing new partners to the kids. I will get a new car, for myself. (This might take months because of my job so might wait with bringing it up.)
Mumin,
The problem is that you have no way of enforcing this. She can do what she wants, even against your wishes. You have no legal standing as long as the kids are not endangered by her actions (IE, introducing a known pedophile into their lives). Can you even imagine going before a judge about this? "Sir what is your complaint?" "My ex-W continues to date and introduce new SOs into my children's lives!" The judge would see that as an attempt to manipulate whether or not your W dates other people.
The problem that you face is that since you have no way of enforcing it. Since there is no legal standing assuming that the current OM is not a sex offender. FURTHER, since this was merely over Facetime and not even in person! This will make you look petty, pathetic, weak, and desperate. If your goal is to have a chance to R at some point in the future, then you are barking up the wrong tree. Who the kids are around and who they are introduced to while they are in her custody is up to her. If they Facetime with her and OM is there too, then you can look whiny and show yourself being a sore-loser by making a a fuss about it.
A truly detached person would let this roll off his back like water off a duck. The fact that you are making an issue of this proves to me that you are not detached. Either your W is a terrible mother that can not be trusted to introduce new people into your kid's lives. Or she can be trusted. The shock of her having an OM is causing you to overreact....and to use your children as pawns in your "battle". That is not only unattractive, but it is NOT what a good father would do.
If you are truly concerned about your children, rather than trying to institute two week notice rules and other things that cannot be enforced, you would ask to meet the OM. To shake the guys hand and have a conversation with him. To get his name just in case you start to detect things or hear from your kids things that are worrisome. But DO NOT use your own feelings towards your Ex-W's penchant to start dating to cause you to overreact. Did you really think she was never going to date again?!?
Last edited by Steve85; 07/06/2001:04 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
