I think your still operating under the illusion of action where if you keeping trying different things that one of them will turn this around. First you addressed his complaint about your weight by dropping 25 pounds. Then you addressed your relationship issues by reading books and when you informed him and that didn’t work. Your last ditch effort is to do something with the divorce process. Try to remember that doing nothing is actually doing something so that should be your play moving forward.
Judging by your last post you did not mention how many days of NC you were at so I’m guessing you broke it.
This is the hardest thing you will ever do but you will get through it.
Soooooo drumroll..... I did NOT break NC!!! But, I shouldn't be counting the days either... that puts too much focus on it.
I wasn't using doing something with the divorce process as a tool to get him back. I was trying to explain emotionally that a big part me of just wants to be one and done --- that's coming from a place of deep pain. NOT trying to win his attention back. But, then I go back to why do I have to do the work for something i didn't want to why in the world can I not have any patience??? That things may just be different in 30 to 60 days... why rush??
So I admitting I do not want to do anything at the moment. I don't want to make a decision out of fear or anxiety (cause I've done plenty of those.) SOOOO, I am focusing on doing nothing.
Would appreciate some advice - H texted this morning "Hey did taxes get done this year" I have NOT responded. I did our taxes prior to BD and they were discussed at the time and they were discussed again in March. I get that on the calendar that Google put a reminder in on the 15th for Tax Day which was moved from April due to Covid - so he saw the reminder but he seriously can't remember that we have already covered this months ago. He also knows I'm always on top of everything. I've done the taxes on time for the last 10yrs.
This is a business item A) Do I just respond with yes or B) Do I ignore?
Thanks!! Please note that I'm not spinning but I want to do the right thing and clearly I've made bad judgement calls previously.
