I haven't a whole lot to offer as I'm in my own sad mess. But, a few observations.
1) He attempt last night was to pull you back to him because he feels you pulling away... he is starting to see loss. NOT, the right kind of loss and as Scout pointed out he is concerned for AP, for his kids, but still tells you he doesn't think he can love you again. Wanting to give you just enough so you won't bail. *** You absolutely should not take him back unless YOU are the priority in working this out.***
2) How much reading have you done on affairs??? Does the term "the valley" sound familar??? If not I would do some reading on it for sure. May he is leaning in more than he is leaning out last night BUT, will that vacillate to the opposite tomorrow? You may also have read about "false starts"??? Maybe if you understood the valley it may help guide your choices/actions.
3) You have a good head on your shoulders. You are thinking 3 steps ahead with an action plan - moving yourself forward on your own. Keep that course but I have no doubt the more you pull away the more he will be drawn back in. Make sure you have a hard line of MUST HAVES and don't back down. His actions need to match his words and needs to show May its all about the 2 of you. Frankly staying to together because it will hurt the kids less is BS. Kids are also hurt when they see indifference or animosity between their parents.
There is potential but don't settle on his terms this time but on MAYS terms. :-)
