I think you handled that really really well May. You were truthful you didn't seek to control and you didn't accept any responsibility for his mess.
I think his response sounds a bit different, doesn't it? He's talking about himself - his problem, his inability to decide, the difficulty this is causing him. I still see no reason you should listen to it, but at least he isn't blaming it on you right now.
I think this limbo has worked pretty well for him so far, but you withdrawing and putting all his mess on his lap and making no threats or promises about the future has caused a change.
You might get more rage / charm / self pity or he might try some other bargaining tactics to spin this out for longer.
Equally, you might decide a man as weak and dishonest and selfish as this is no catch, and pull the trigger yourself.
Either way, the status quo is now over and will stay over so long as you hold steady.
It is painful, but you're on the right track. Take care of yourself. The kids WILL be fine. It's a shame they have such a weak and dishonest man for a father, but perhaps he will turn himself around at some point in the future and the knowledge of what he's capable of will give him humility and compassion that they will benefit from. You can't do anything there. But they have an amazing mother and they are loved. They will be okay. YOU will be okay.
