Well, how quickly life can change after long periods of inactivity! So much for me saying I didn't want a new relationship. Last Saturday I matched with a chap on a dating app. Exchanged a few pleasantries and it didn't go anywhere. I lined up 2 more dates with other men. Saturday night he messages me something a bit silly and inappropriate and I kind of laughed it off. Then next morning I messaged him just to check if he was only after kinky sex in which case he could look elsewhere. He apologised and said he'd been a bit tipsy and we got chatting.
Long story short we spent 2 days texting each other, then I went to visit him and we basically went straight to bed and stayed there most of the day. Plenty more texting the next day and yesterday I spent the day with him again. Mostly but not all in bed (funny to think I felt like I'd never have sex again, lol). I've known him 5 days and I am incredibly attracted to him physically (obviously) but also very fond of him. We laugh a lot and he is highly intelligent and well educated. He's not entirely suitable as he's currently unemployed and hasn't had a great career history (some mental health issues in the past I think but he seems fairly sorted now). But I'm financially independent so that doesn't matter much to me. He offered to pay my petrol money yesterday so he is clearly not a gold digger! He is very sweet, very laidback, very thoughtful, likes the same music as me and has lived a lot of life despite being much younger (13 years!) He seems equally keen on me...And despite his age he has never wanted kids, so that is not an issue.
So I don't know how it will be after the initial lust phase wears off, but we get on fantastically well and make each other laugh a lot, our senses of humour match as much as our bodies. So, watch this space for further developments. I'm trying hard not to rush things too much (she says, after basically meeting him and jumping into bed with him, lol, he says I'm a brazen hussy :))
I told the divorce lawyer I want to go ahead and move towards D. Will work out what questions to ask him over the weekend for a call next week. September seems the most obvious time since that is 2 years separated. I feel much kinder towards H now I have found someone new. In a funny way my new man reminds me of H when we first started going out at 19. He has a sweet playfulness which I love (I am quite playful myself) but H lost it over the years, buried under alcoholism and workaholism and his childhood abandonment issues. I feel compassion for him. I hope he is happy in the future. I think I won't be in it. He is taking the kids away on holiday in August and I plan to take them away somewhere else in August. I think he's telling his family about our separation (they are obviously not close, lol) I don't know how H will take me asking for D but hopefully well. I would like to be amicable about it. I might give him a few weeks to unwind after finishing work and getting his dog before broaching it. I think we could actually stay friendly, if not friends, in future. Certainly we both have the kids' best interests in mind, he was a rubbish dad but he's not an unkind one.
