Life is not perfect. We are all just trying to navigate through it. That he is (partly) empathetic to your emotional requirements is a good start. That you recognise that your relationship being only 'fine' because you had a mental block stopping it from being 'great' is a good start.
Like life, none of us is perfect. That he fails to live up to your expectations is due to YOUR expectations. He is working through his sh!t. His intentions (from my reading) are good it is just he cannot meet ALL your needs, either because he cannot know all your needs (do you even know what you need at any given time?) or he is still protecting himself from getting/causing hurt.
Separations are a traumatic experience for all parties. The WA might try and bury that trauma with drugs, alcohol, fuel, food, working out, work, but at some point they have to deal with it. Your H is dealing with it. Keep your boundaries, but understand that he has them too.
PS - My H has had to deal with it too I think. The path back is too hard so he has chosen a fresh slate. My understanding of that is half way to accepting, which is half way to forgiving. We are all on a journey. You, me and our H's.
