MC said it is messed up you're using this trip as leverage to get what you want. You're going to get your way and control me like you've controlled me our entire lives. You can't have it both ways, you love me and want to R with me on one hand or you hate me on the other. You can't play both sides. You shouldn't be a Democrat because you are so close-minded. You only see what you want to see and refuse to consider anything else. (That made me kind of angry, I said I'm not going to listen to this and walked away. He said that's how it's always been, you won't listen.) If we are split by then it is only fair you get them half the time and I get them half the time so I can legally take them on these trips. (To this I did respond, no, you can't. We both have to agree on travel, legally.) Then, you can't say you love them and are making decisions in their best interest if you don't let them go. You're being selfish. You can't both say you want to R because it is in the best interests of our children and yet switch to not taking them into consideration, they'll have to do more summer school instead of a trip? Maybe I'll just go by myself then (I said that sounds great and he leapt on that immediately-- why is it not OK for them to be away from you but OK for them to be away from me?). Etc.
Translation: "WAAAAH! It's not FAIR! If you don't give me what I want, you're a big MEANIE and you don't LOVE me! Actually, I don't love YOU. I might just RUN AWAY from home because you are so MEAN! Maybe THEN you'll care about me. I'm taking my favourite toys and I'm LEAVING! I don't CARE what you say. You're not the BOSS of me! NYAHHHH!"
I busted a gut at "you shouldn't be a Democrat because you are so close-minded". That is the funniest thing I've read in a while. How did you keep a straight face?!
Rage channel mixed with self-pity. Brush it off. The accusation that you didn't consider his FEEEEELINGS is absurd and patently wrong.
You probably hate this idea. But I actually think you might benefit from him taking the kids on a trip. Just gently, I do think this is a little bit of a control issue for you. Agreeing to it will calm him down and make him more agreeable. You get some space to breathe and prepare for whatever comes next. You could also use it as leverage. He can take the kids, as long as he agrees to move out upon their return. He can take the kids, but you want a separation agreement and custody arrangement hammered out in advance. He can take the kids, but he has to break the news to them about whatever comes next.
