On PA = D, or difficulty admitting what a POS your H is... i have been thinking about this and wondering if that same cognitive dissonance comes into play for us that the WAH is experiencing-- he has to believe that this is true love, or whatever, to justify his actions, plus his W is so terrible, you were never really in love, etc. Whereas I think that maybe something the LBWs are experiencing (and maybe this is a motherhood thing that dads just don't get in the same way) in that we are trained to always put our children first. So PA = D is not so simple anymore when you bring children into the mix, and they most likely will be better off in an R than a D situation. So in order to have this all make sense in our heads, we also have to believe that the M is salvagable, that your H is a flawed human being who has made some devastating mistakes rather than a selfish cheating narcissistic liar who has blown up your life and the lives of your children for his own selfish reasons. I'm not sure that this makes much sense... just is where my head is these days.
Interesting. Though I would argue that allowing someone to treat you this way is not a proper lesson for the kids either. So while trying to hold a MR together through some awful behavior by the WAH is noble in one regard, your kids learn more from what you do than you think. And it is setting them up for allowing themselves to be lied and cheated on in their own love lives.
