However, you now need to sit down and decide what you want in life. Do you want to wait for a lying cheater and waste valuable time? Or are you ready to pull up stakes and head to higher, more fertile ground? Choice is yours. The power to choose is yours.
I am working through my residual fears of D. I am also working through my tendencies of just dragging things out. In my mind I set it the time to a year. I guess I have the whole summer to contemplate what my next moves are.
two years ago I came across this quote (another sign?!) and I decided to stick it on my frig. (translated) Clarify your emotions with a logical mind Operate your emotions with compassion Regulate your emotions with respect Lead your emotions with morals
Wooba, obviously there is no rush to decide. However, what has your core values told you over time about adultery? If before you got married someone had asked you: "What would you do if after you got married he cheated on you?" what would you have said?
I find it so strange how LBSs are so willing to let go of their core values and deal-breakers once the WAS has crossed that line. For me, in my sitch, the difficulty was that there was nothing physical going on. My W has had two EAs (maybe more but those are the ones I've discovered), which put me into a gray area related to my core values. But I can honestly say that if she ever had a PA I would D her so fast her head would spin.
So is a PA a deal-breaker for you? If so, then I see no reason why you would stick to your year timeline.
But again, the power is in your hand to choose how long. You don't get to choose if he ever comes back, you don't have that power. But you do have the power to decide to pull up stakes and move on.
But please, for your own sake, admit that he is a lying cheater. Repeat it: He is a lying cheater. It is frustrating to watch the number of cheated on LBWs on this forum that refuse to admit that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
