I texted WAW 2 hours before the divorce case meeting. I needed to be reminded again, why I have to do what I was going to do. Is this a temp check on my part? big time. But still I needed to know if MR is worth going through. Spoiler alert: I decided it was not at the end.
F: What happens if let's say I ask to go through MR later?
WAW: I don't see the point of that. I don't want to go through counselling.
F: Tell me, why don't you want to go through counselling?
WAW: I want this to be over.
F: Can you elaborate?
WAW: I want a divorce?
F: You have no feelings towards me. You want a divorce. And this M is not worth it anymore?
WAW: What marriage..? We've been separated for half a year already.
F: It was never worth it? Even in our first month together?
WAW: Why are you talking about the past? I wanted out ever since the first week of M.
F: Because I want to know. I have to make a decision later.
WAW: Decision on what? We've gone through this already.
F: Don't you think I deserve to know?
WAW: Um, you already know. I've wanted a divorce since the first week of marriage.
F: Okay. You wanted a divorce 5 days after the wedding. You had to make a decision that day. You picked something over this marriage, what is that something?
WAW: There wasn't any specific something that I chose over. I just wanted out. It's been half a year. I don't know why you're talking about this again. Our M was never really an M. We never even got to share memories and milestones. There's nothing like that to hold on to. I feel like you're holding on to only hope now.
F: What about the two years before that? before marriage?
WAW: What's the use of talking about this now?
F: Because I have to make a decision later and I want to know things I didn't get to ask.
WAW: Okay then. We never should've gotten married. I should've ended it months before the wedding. It wasn't healthy for me, especially throughout 2019. But I ignored it, shut it down, instead of facing it and handling it properly. The relationship wasn't and isn't good for me. And all this, you know already.
F: Okay. It has a difficult year. I'll see you later (and I ended it there)
Contacting her was probably a stupid move. It made me feel dismissed, I can't believe that our two years together didn't mean much to her. I can't believe she'd just throw everything away just like that. I also feel ashamed and guilty for the fact that she said this relationship was unhealthy for her.
Nevertheless, it gave me the conviction I needed.
I went to the divorce case meeting. I gave them my consent to proceed to D. They said the court hearing will be in 2 months. Once the discussion was done I went straight to my car. I never spoke a word to WAW. It's best to keep my distance.
Feeling heartbroken and defeated today. I'm going to take some rest now.
Last edited by funbun; 07/02/2009:30 AM.
M: 28 W: 30 T: 2 years Married: Nov 2019 BD: 5 days after wedding (I know right?)
