You recognized that he's probably feeling guilt and shame. That seems to me like compassionate indifference. Does it feel that way to you? I want to get to this place of strength! I think I'm there sometimes, but not all the time.
I am guessing that he feels guilty. But I also know I could be totally wrong. Regarding the compassionate indifference thing.....I still have to check myself often. I have to remind myself that choosing compassion is better *for me*. anger and hatred are poison. When those feelings come up, a memory of H yelling "Fck compassion!!" (a while back I asked him to have compassion for his mother when she was being unseasonable) would pop in my head, and set things straight for me. That moment was so ugly, and so telling of his inability to be kind - to others, but most importantly, to himself.
Originally Posted by may22
Later, he told me about praying for a sign, and that me getting that text and a good amount of the money I'd need to buy him out felt like the sign from God he was waiting for.
gosh may. I will refrain from calling your H names. I get more angry reading about your H's behavior than dealing with my own H. lol!!!
I think you're right about the sign reading. I am aware that I could totally just be seeing the signs that I wanna see. If it is peace, kindness, self-growth, and freedom that I seek, I would be more likely to choose those doors when they are presented to me. Another funny sign recently is that over the last few months things in our house have been breaking/not functioning. Things that we've owned since the beginning of our M. I chuckle at the idea that I am forced to make peace with letting go of these items as a practice to let go of my M. These things have sentimental values, but I know they are just things. Kind of like my M, I am feel sentimental....but I know the time is up.
Originally Posted by Steve85
However, you now need to sit down and decide what you want in life. Do you want to wait for a lying cheater and waste valuable time? Or are you ready to pull up stakes and head to higher, more fertile ground? Choice is yours. The power to choose is yours.
I am working through my residual fears of D. I am also working through my tendencies of just dragging things out. In my mind I set it the time to a year. I guess I have the whole summer to contemplate what my next moves are.
two years ago I came across this quote (another sign?!) and I decided to stick it on my frig. (translated) Clarify your emotions with a logical mind Operate your emotions with compassion Regulate your emotions with respect Lead your emotions with morals
