One question I've never asked you: Do you think your WAW is cordial and friendly just because of her good nature, or do you think she may be aware of your NGS and use that to her advantage? My STBXW often tries to use my desire to "keep the peace" as a subtle form of leverage as we work out our split-up.
It's hard to know. I think it's a fair question to ask. My gut response would be that I don't think it's conscious or malicious, but I don't think it's zero, either. And further, I don't even know if I'd even blame her for it -- it's my issue.
I completely understand.
What you can control is making sure you prioritize your needs. If things can remain cordial, that's great, but it absolutely should not be the priority. She may be trying to meet her needs, in a cordial way (based on her family history), and knows how to accomplish both because you are a NG.
I will also say, when you start standing up more for yourself, you will get a backlash. You really have to be centered and grounded to have the strength and courage to stick with it. I am always fighting my inner nature to want to keep the peace.
