OK a strange new update. Last night my W worked an afternoon shift to cover for someone that was off. She stayed after work talking to OM, and came home wanting to talk about the R. Her and the OM didn't talk about them, they apparently talked about us. Supposedly he "called her on her BS", told her she was "being an A-hole" to me, and that she needed to let go of the past and move on to build something new with me. In other words the OM seems to be trying to help save MY M.
So my W tells me all of this, says that is exactly what she wants to do, but has no idea of how to let go of the past hurts and issues. She says she doesn't know how to forgive and forget. She understands that we can't move forward as long as she is holding on to the past but she just can't let go either. I told her, that I did it through prayer and imagining that I was holding all of that in my hand and I just let go. I also said that may not work for her, and she may need to seek IC or look for idea on the internet. I also said that I had been enjoying the extra time we had been spending together, and that maybe if we just kept doing that in time, the rest would come naturally. The whole conversation lasted about 2 hours with a few interruptions, but that was the gist of it.
I had no idea what else to say. On one hand I am a bit optimistic, b/c this was the most she ever admitted that she really did want this to work, but also disheartened a bit b/c I also know that if she can't find a way to let go of the past, then nothing we do will ever move us forward.