I want to roll my eyes at him and say WAKE THE F UP. Here I am telling you to GO and now you've made up yet another reason why it isn't your fault that you can't walk and are feeling sorry for yourself again.
I hesitate to recommend this, as I think we're in different places and I know right now I am more concerned with my own wellbeing than the wellbeing of my marriage, and I don't know if that is a place you want to be in.
But as a thought experiment, what comes up for you when you imagine saying this to him - just putting your own truth right there on the table - and then leaving the room and not listening to any response he has to it?
What does that feel like?
For me, it got to the point where my sanity and wellbeing relied on calling out the truth as I saw it. It does not rely on my H changing his course, agreeing with me, or feeling good about me calling it out. It solely relies on something I can control - getting those truths out on the table as when I see fit to do so.
I suspect your husband really really really needs you to believe the trash he is spinning for himself. And without getting into an R talk where you try to convince him that your way of seeing things is actually the right way, how about you just lay it out on the table that you think this is all self serving nonsense and you see it, and you're not playing anymore?
