WAW is still very cordial, pleasant, and almost friendly. (As am I.) She is still sticking to the separation agreement. I spoke to my lawyer earlier today before the call and she took the position that separation agreements are pretty meaningless and are almost always ignored by the family courts here in Brooklyn. The logic remains the same: until she feels like she's got a better understanding of the lay of the land, it's hard for her to work through the ambivalence etc etc etc etc.
We are pretty far apart on a few things. Most notably, how much she is entitled to of the company I sold while we were together but not married, as well as how much she is entitled to of the company I started after we separated. She thinks 25% of both. I am 0% on the latter -- because it is absurd that she would be entitled to something that I started after she left me -- but on the former, I'm torn. Legally, my lawyer believes that any judge would say that it's 0%, or close to it. Ethically, even though we weren't married, I cannot sit here and say that she wasn't an ingredient in its success; we were living together, she was emotionally supportive, and there for me in a very mentally taxing time.
How that manifests in a number is something I'll have to noodle on. My NGS would tell me to capitulate and be pliant to her position. I am instead going to take the approach of doing what is best for me, while also one that I feel is in accordance to what I feel is ethically and morally fair.
I'll need some time to let my thoughts and emotions settle, but I'm in a good place.
I'll also share a funny story with you, while I'm here. I was on a Zoom call with my lawyer, as we were wrapping up, she noticed that I was a bit emotional and she said, "Hey -- let me also give you some non-legal advice, from someone who has seen it all. You're young, successful, and well-spoken. NYC is your oyster, it's the single woman's capital of the world. I see it everyday, a parade of equally attractive, equally successful women coming into my office every day who would be dying to meet someone like you."
It was a great message to receive at a time when I needed a boost. And great perspective to chew on over the next few days.
