What to do? Stay or go?

[SteveLW]

First of all, you cannot prevent her from leaving. She is a grown woman and can leave if she wants. In fact, if she wants to leave then you should WANT her to go. No one ever reconciled a marriage by getting their WAS to do something they didn't want to do.

Second, taking the kids is a legal thing. If she were to leave and take the kids, then you need an attorney that can handle family matters. She is not entitled to take the kids. She is not entitled to only allow them to see you when she wants to. There are laws governing this stuff.

So you stay in the house. Whose name the house is mortgages is immaterial. It is a marital asset. It is your home and place of residence. You have rights under the law.

To me it sounds like you want to leave to be "nice". Nice and a dollar will get you a can of soda. You cannot nice her back. Nice will get you out of the house, barely able to see your kids unless she allows it and you will still end up D'd. Forget nice. Learn what you have a legal right to. And then exercise your rights.

Ever hear of Nice Guy Syndrome. Might want to look into it. Sounds like you might have a touch of it at a minimum.