For those just starting this journey, looking for reasons why someone you love would do what they do, listen to the wise people here when they say they are running. It's true.
H said those exact words. I asked him what he was running from. He said his guilt and shame. He couldn't face me, and thought OW would be enough to forget. He now realizes that no amount of life-rafts can allow him to escape himself.
Thank you for sharing this, Grace. It does bring me a little comfort. Every time I find myself uncomfortable that, while he is still living here, my H can still blame me for his anger or unhappiness, I try to remember I can’t do anything to change how he feels, and it’s not my place to do that anyway; he really does need to want to look more deeply to understand what is going on, to realize that he can’t escape himself, and that will be on his own timeline. I have to repeat: he is not running from me, I am not the source of all problems, because so often it does feel like that!
