Regarding your kids, they will be fine. Your W has already harmed them by cheating on you. The damage is done and can no longer be prevented. SHE DID THIS, you cannot fix it.
When my XW first had an EA my youngest was 5 going on 6, and I could not bear to put her through a divorce, I just didn't feel like I could do it, and I too endeavored to hide everything from my kids.
Despite the fact that both XW and I did a really good job of keeping things hidden and "acting as if" they still picked up on the tension, of course they did. Your kids have too.
Having to tell them that XW would be moving out was one of the hardest days of my life leading up to that moment, but once it was done it was a tremendous relief. My daughter cried for a bit then we went as a family to see their new house and they were fine. Kids are like that, they're resilient. They process the change and they carry on, faster than adults do.
Your kids cannot have the life back that they have had -- they can't. Your W's actions have removed that as a possibility. Seeing you stand up for yourself and continuing to love and support them is a great example to set.
Sometimes things don't work out the way you wanted but you can still have a wonderful life, despite the change. I'm sure your kids won't suffer for learning that lesson.
How are my kids doing now? Honestly they are doing GREAT! Do they like going back and forth between houses? No. Do they like that their family traditions, like vacations together and restaurant meals as a family have been disrupted? No. But they do feel loved by both of us, they know that we are there for them, they have each other, and that is more than enough. Believe me it is.
