Riding the Wave 3

[may22]

Thanks WF. It means a lot. I think I'm going to go back to some of your old threads from when your H was in the throes of the A and get some inspiration there

Setting little goals, looking for the helpers, being kind to myself and protecting myself. I think maybe that is all I can do today. Maybe tomorrow or next week I'll have the emotional space to sit in the anger and the devastating truth of where my H really is in his head. I feel like I'm still trying to wrench the controls of the ship away from him. I need to let go and start measuring the life rafts.

But the kids!! UGH UGH UGH. that part is killing me. Because whatever else he is, he is a really good dad and loves them more than anything. (Not quite as much as he loves himself... which is where maybe I'm slipping up. Because that is probably the healthier place to be.) So my life raft is going to be somewhat tethered to his sinking ship no matter what.