I wish I could be stronger like it seems like literally every single person on my thread is able to do. Stand up and boot his lying cheating @ss to the curb. Or strong like you, zen and love and intuition and patience beyond measure. Stop talking to him and listening to him and be cold and hard till he gets the picture. I feel like I can't do any of this. we're going to have a stand off over who is going to blink first and will be in this same f-ing place a year from now. I don't even know how to be kind to myself in this place. (And here I am venting on your thread because I'm scared to say this on my own today.)
Oh May, telling you to do things isn't an example of strength or courage it's people trying their best to support you and praying you make it through this in one piece. People telling what they have done or would do also isn't strength it's Monday morning quarterbacking. Your sitch is unique to you. No one can really tell you what you ought to be doing except you. Logically knowing what would be best, emotionally understanding what is best, legally doing what is best in our country is almost never all one thing. It's just not. And if it takes you time to reconcile those things, look at all the people on your thread telling you how it's ok to do nothing for a little bit. It's ok to sit back and take this in and go at your own pace. It's ok to make sure May is ok and then deal with the a**hat. Please don't forget that. Use the Mr. Rogers quote. "Look for the helpers." You're back in crisis it's ok to not be ok right now. That's why I said please, please be kind to yourself. And if that's you coming over here venting thinking you're weak when you absolutely are not, so be it. You can hijack me to the high heavens. I'm here for it girl. But you've made it this long in this dumpster fire of a situation I would never for a second think you aren't strong enough. You have this. I said he's a sinking ship and he's trying to take you down with him. It is ok if you sputter and choke trying to free yourself. And freeing you doesn't mean D or R. It means separating yourself from the wreckage so you can survive. That's all. Survive. And be kind to yourself while you figure out how. xoxoxox
