H reaching out to my pastor, whose # I had given to him about 3 weeks ago, to go with him to get the last of his things yesterday.
God figuratively and literally brings H to his knees. While moving out the last of his things, he blew a knee, and ended up in the ER. He had no one to call for help, except me.
I helped.
D20 wanting to go to the hospital with us. She has seen him once since July, and that was a few weeks ago when she really let him have it at her therapist. S22 pointed out to me later that it was the first time the 4 of us have been together since their birthday dinner last July. Interesting he noted that.
Last night's dinner out was obviously a no-go, but I picked up sushi (yes, he paid), we shared a meal and wine where he is staying, and talked for 4 hours. Some of it light, some of it deep.
For those just starting this journey, looking for reasons why someone you love would do what they do, listen to the wise people here when they say they are running. It's true.
H said those exact words. I asked him what he was running from. He said his guilt and shame. He couldn't face me, and thought OW would be enough to forget. He now realizes that no amount of life-rafts can allow him to escape himself.
Today's sermon was about conflict. How it can be disasterous to avoid dealing with difficult things out of fear or pride. Another intervention from God. Our marriage was almost totally conflict free. My pastor reminded us today that God is a God of reconciliation, whether it be with our spouse, friends, co-workers, or neighbors. He encouraged us to start a dialogue with someone that we are in conflict with.
Our dialogue has started, and we will see where it leads.
God is the light, and I am allowing it to shine within me. I feel the warmth, like loving arms wrapped around me.
H wants the warmth, and is inching closer in to see what the light holds.
