Comparing A vs. B is a fool's choice. Both mindsets are flawed, there are so many cognitive distortions in your lists. Life will be worse after, kids are better/worse off, you never loved her, you deserve better, why would I want her, she's not supportive, on and on and on. These are all not helpful thoughts.
Thank you U. I've found choice C again after your post...abundance and PMA. Hopefully I make it last.
Originally Posted by unchien
I guarantee you that your decisions will come more naturally when you FEEL they are right than if you keep using your brain to obsess over them. My anxiety regularly hit 8s and 9s in the last year. This sh*t is HARD. When you feel like your anxiety is down at a 2 or 3, and you feel confident in your decision making -- trust me, it is the best feeling in the world. Your brain will thank you for it =)
Also... what makes you think "divorce will cause shame"?
Its amazing the difference in flow when the anxiety is lowered and how hard it can be to see anxiety when its taking over. I was raised in a household and family in which even the thought of D brought shame. There is one D in the last 3 generations of my family that we know of. One and it was because the H had extreme mental problems. Part of my dilemma is accepting D may be the better option and facing that shame.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
