Ending Limbo

[Core]

It's been a good couple of days. Held and maintained a PMA and mindset of abundance for a few days. This morning I met with a friend whom helped me early in the sitch and we talked about what happened and whats happening. I limited myself but it was still enough negativity and lack in my strength to stay in my PMA. My fault. I'm working to get back in it and have more frame work to do. Thus the reason for my post today.

I started just saying whatever I want and having a IDGAF attitude. W has engaged me several times the past few days in friendly teasing banter, following my lead. Its been fun. I'm not expecting anything from here nor is this drawing me in, I'm just having a good time in the poor situation which I am at least half responsible for getting myself in. After playfully mocking her a bit, she ending up bringing me dinner while on a teleconference. It was barely even poisoned. Being a dumb A and non caring really makes life easier. Not sure how i forgot that!

I identified more energy sucking things in my life which are next to changed, my car has an airbag recall, house needs maintenance, I engaged back with W about politics...no win there and I let a low energy person suck me down instead of detaching or pulling them up.

Its been boiling how here. I exercised outside in just some shorts and had two women rubbernecked. One while driving which was funny and frightening. It made me feel good which identifies that I'm still seeking validation. Glad my fitness is paying off, I just gotta catch up on the emotional. Im lessening my time around the kids as Ive felt like I need to give them as much time as possible. Im turning it around so its not from neediness. The time i spend other than standard parenting, is from a play of fun and enjoyment whether they engage or not.

I finished another book and am moving on to another. I'm going to hit all my goals i set to hit by june 30th except my weight goal. I slacked there and should've weight lifted and ate more.

I read May22s interpretation of a spouse with a LD. My W could've wrote that post. Interesting to see the other side and alot of it is what I thought the LD spouse may feel. Its sad on both sides. So many of us wait so long to address our issues. Such is life as a human.

On to some time with the kids and finding heavier things to lift for my Q3 goals.