I wish I could be stronger like it seems like literally every single person on my thread is able to do. Stand up and boot his lying cheating @ss to the curb. Or strong like you, zen and love and intuition and patience beyond measure. Stop talking to him and listening to him and be cold and hard till he gets the picture. I feel like I can't do any of this. we're going to have a stand off over who is going to blink first and will be in this same f-ing place a year from now. I don't even know how to be kind to myself in this place. (And here I am venting on your thread because I'm scared to say this on my own today.)
. Don’t be hard on yourself May, you’re doing the very best you can and you ARE growing in strength, but it takes time to build that strength . Just like going to the gym, you don’t rock up and bench 40kgs on your first visit, you start with 6kg, then 8kg, then 10, 12...... you’ll have days where you build, and days where you sit back and rest/recover. Consistency and discipline are the key to making progress, and you are doing both of these. Be kind to yourself, remember we talk about *their* timeline? Well, you have one too. It takes time to build mental strength, because you have to *weigh* up a lot of options. Xx
M:49 H:49 T:20 M:18 D:16 D:14
EA: Feb 2019-May 2020 Separated: Mar-early Aug 2020 H asked to reconcile: Jun 2020 EA relapse: Oct/Nov 2020 Recon #2: since Nov 2020
