He said, I told my mom today all I want is to make May smile. And I just did it.
This is one of the most $%^(-ed up things I've read from him, May. The manipulation, the arrogance. I am SURE in his mind he is cajoling poor little May nicely out of her funk so she will be nice to him and there will be peace in the house.
What is actually happening is that he's been cheating and lying to you, you are reacting in a calm, dignified way and have clearly asked for alone time to process your feelings about the fact that you don't want an open marriage and he is forcing you to have one and expecting you to be happy about it.
And he can't even let you have that - your utterly normal, reasonable and respectfully expressed feelings about it. Now if you were running around the house screaming, setting his pubic hair on fire and throwing his stuff into a lake it would be wrong. Understandable, but wrong. But you're simply asking for space, privacy and for him to stop 'working you' like you are a vending machine full of goodies. You're not telling him what he can and can't do otherwise. And he can't even give you that.
This is horrible, May. If you aren't able to keep your resolve with him working at you like this (and I understand it) then he or you need to go.
And I don't mean 'keep your resolve' as in 'decide to leave him' - I mean keep your resolve of taking all the space you need, seeing things absolutely clearly for as long as you need, and making a decision. If you make a decision to stay with him and turn a blind eye to him continuing to cheat on you, and even, for the sake of peace, pretend you believe his lying until you get your consulting business up off the ground, well, that would be one of your choices. But YOU get to make it without this interference.
I find it quite sinister and controlling that he can't let you have that, given the severity of what he has done.
