The thing about people who step outside the marriage because their needs weren’t being met is that they had ethical options. Counselling, separation, divorce. There will always be excuses for why they simply couldn’t make a clean break - children, finances etc - but the reality is they chose the option which minimised responsibility and maximised blame.
You don’t have to be ‘in love’ with someone to refrain from destroying their life. ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ has no place in discussions of infidelity. If for whatever reason they love you and still want to leave you, they would do so in a way that did not hurt you. With honesty, with integrity, with regret, with sadness, with respect. With a fair settlement and custody arrangement in acknowledgement and reparation for reneging on their sacred commitment.
Anything less is not love.
If you stop being ‘in love’ with me, stop being ‘in marriage’ with me. And also ‘in house’ with me, and ‘in bank account’ with me, while you’re at it. Don’t wallow in self-pity and make me be the one to make these decisions. Don’t add insult to injury. Don’t take advantage of my shock and grief to stick the knife in with blame. Own your sh!t and leave.
I encourage you to keep thinking about taking space from your H.
