Can’t help but hear Tina Turner singing “What’s love but a second hand emotion....”
As an older, wiser woman, I think much of what we mistake for “love” in our youth is need - need for validation, need for sex, the urge to procreate. I think the reason it’s so difficult when we lose a romantic partner is because so much of our identity is wrapped up in that relationship.
At my age now, I see love very differently. Love is affection and caring for a person. Love is as love does. I don’t need a man to validate me. I’ve loved many people In my life because I am capable of love. Sure, you need to be attracted to someone - but that can grow, even if someone doesn’t initially seem like your type. The really important things are kindness, shared values, intellectual companionship, and sexual compatibility. If you’re a young person planning a life together, sharing a similar idea of your goals in life is important.
