Alison, there is a theory that cheaters, narcs, and abusers have three mindf*ck channels - rage, charm, and self-pity. This was true for my X and I wonder if its true for yours. I don’t even believe it has to be intentional as they are emotionally like children mashing buttons on a controller to see what works. They will flip between all three depending on which one gets their desired reaction at the time. If they can’t intimidate you, they’ll seduce you. If they can’t seduce you, they’ll get you to feel very sorry for them and imply this is all your fault. If they can’t get you to to feel sorry for them, they’ll intimidate you. Repeat. May, if you’re reading - this applies to you too.
