Made it a year - part 4

[HaWho]

Kids eventually see though being bribed.

Upon move out my ex went the Disney dad route with my older son. On days I asked my son to clean his room, he would pitch a fit and have his dad pick him up! My ex did it even though I explained the situation and asked him not to allow s to manipulate us to get out of chores. My ex told me his house was always open to s; huh? To get out of chores?

This kind of nonsense went on for a while. I realize now ex felt guilt because he was already (secretly) engaged to his mistress and he was going the buddy vs. dad route to assuage his guilt. He wanted a to be ok with new mistress.

It went on until the final time where I ignored it all completely. S ran to daddy to get out of chores. I did not reach out at all. Ex texted me I needed to apologize to s in order for him to come back. Huh?!?! Ignore. Another text from ex saying s would not return without me apologizing for asking him to do his chores. Ignore. I fully expected s to live with dad. Things seemed easy there.

S returns days later. I act as if. That night s asks to talk. He cries and says he wants a better relationship with me. I told him start doing your chores and stop using your dad to get out of it. Never had another issue.

Kids feels loved where they are safe and there are guard rails. They see through it eventually. And trust me, they don’t respect being used as pawns.

I live a much, much simpler life by choice than my ex and this same s now chooses to be here more on ex’s time.

Be the parent and you cannot go wrong. They see the truth eventually.