Moving On Rather Slowly

[Pommy99]

May you’re doing brilliantly and seem to be a level above all is nonsense now. I’m totally eye rolling at the yoga pants and costume compliments!! I pulled H up on this at one point and he said something like just because I don’t find you sexually attractive doesn’t mean you don’t look good in your underwear!! A real back-handed compliment! The compliments were always dished out when I was distancing, when his Plan B was being destabilised by me.

Scout mentioned the trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement. This is something I discussed at length with my IC. When I read up on it at home, it really hit a nerve and I started to understand the toxicity of the situation I was in and how I was being manipulated by H. IC had me draw a 15 month timeline of the rollercoaster, which really aligned to the pursuer-distancer exchanges, and the events leading up to each peak and trough. I found it really helpful and I think it was those discussions and seeing it visually that really helped me understand how badly I needed to get off his rollercoaster. We also talked about triangulation, which was another manipulative trait that I felt I was being played for.

Keep moving forward May, you deserve so much more. Well done on the Botox conversation! I’m eye rolling again at the “why didn’t you tell me?” In my head I would have been sarcastically apologising for not meeting his honesty and transparency standards !!