You sound like you're in a good place. I went through a phase of openly challenging my H when he complimented me, bringing up the language his used in his abusive tantrums. 'No, you don't think I'm a good mum. You actually think I'm just like my own abusive father, that I've ruined our children to the point where you consider one of them 'emotionally retarded' and that I'm capable of putting nobody or nothing above myself.' It was probably petty and unnecessary, but on the other hand, it got it straight in my mind what and who I was dealing with and what they thought of me, or were willing to say and refuse to apologise for, even in calmer and apparently affectionate moments. Your husband might think you look good in a bathing suit (I bet you do!) but he also thinks you're being mean to him by not giving him a free pass on an open marriage. Good to always balance once fact with the other and draw your own conclusion.
