So it is important to realize that while he feels that way right now, it can change in the future. The way you help that along to DB! GAL, 180s, and detachment. I cannot stress enough how much those three helped in my situation. The more I recaptured the guy I was when we met, the more I self-improve and became a better version of myself, and the more I acted "as if", didn't react emotionally to her words and deeds, and embraced moving on and her moving on........the more she slowly but surely started to come around. Trust the process.
Steve - Trust the process - yes, I will. The answer is and always is: GAL, 180s, and detachment. Rinse, repeat. I make things more complicated. I think I know better. Sometimes I think I have a shortcut. Clearly not. I will trust the process. thanks for being that guiding light.
One thing to remember. It is easy for me to say (and type) GAL, 180, and detach. Some call that cookie cutter advice. The good news is that the advice is SIMPLE. And I believe in KISS as a principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid). I am stupid in that principle!
The execution of that advice is much more difficult. Easy to say, hard to do. But if you think about it, nothing worthwhile in life is easy!
Originally Posted by BlueSea
Some questions: What do you do when they threaten to leave? What do you do when they are outright lying to you? What do you do when they want to hug and you just dont? What do you do when they are being rude and crossing a boundary? (like being mean) How do you respond to gas lighting?
thank you!!
In order:
Offer to help them pack.
Make an excuse to end the conversation. In fact, this is a tool that LBSs would do themselves a favor on if they'd employ it more often! Then walkaway and do something productive!
Do not hug them if that is how you feel. You have a right to turn them down, just like they feel they have a right to turn you down. So simply state: "I don't want to hug." Then walkaway and do something productive!
Make an excuse to end the conversation. In fact, this is a tool that LBSs would do themselves a favor on if they'd employ it more often! Then walkaway and do something productive!
Make an excuse to end the conversation. In fact, this is a tool that LBSs would do themselves a favor on if they'd employ it more often! Then walkaway and do something productive!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
