Thanks everyone!!!! I 100% know what a train wreck last night was --- poor judgement all the way around.
I realize he is NOT keeping my confidence of our interactions and is indeed sharing them with OW. He is loyal and protective of her --- this is why the last interaction was back to exceptionally cold.
All I need to do now if I have the slightest temptation to respond to him or initiate contact is picture his face with the complete lack of emotion. That is who he is. He is NOT the man who loved me and adored me even when I just couldn't be myself.
Everyone here wants the best for me. AND, I LOVE THAT.
Tonight I will focus on what I can that won't be around a computer or rely on my phone. There isn't a whole lot yet to do and if there is... its hard to get people to go out to do it. But I will make taking the dog for a walk a priority. I find the reading helping but I will make plans to go to a park to read. I will do some yard work and keep working on knitting my socks. AND, I will go to the store and start stocking up on what I need for S18 party.
