Comparing A vs. B is a fool's choice. Both mindsets are flawed, there are so many cognitive distortions in your lists. Life will be worse after, kids are better/worse off, you never loved her, you deserve better, why would I want her, she's not supportive, on and on and on. These are all not helpful thoughts.
Regardless, I don't think this "Pro/Con" comparison analysis works well for complex life decisions anyways. It's so hard to stop doing it. Your brain is used to it's pre-wired patterns for dealing with life. Trust me... forget your MR for a minute, your happiness depends much more greatly on how you approach life going forward.
I guarantee you that your decisions will come more naturally when you FEEL they are right than if you keep using your brain to obsess over them. My anxiety regularly hit 8s and 9s in the last year. This sh*t is HARD. When you feel like your anxiety is down at a 2 or 3, and you feel confident in your decision making -- trust me, it is the best feeling in the world. Your brain will thank you for it =)
Also... what makes you think "divorce will cause shame"?
