Originally Posted by wooba
I visited my in-laws for the first time today after news broke. Frankly I’ve been so busy dealing with life with three kids on my own that I just haven’t been able to push myself to visit them and have the difficult conversation. It was a nice visit. My in laws are good people.

And then H texted me at night:
“Mom said you visited. Don't understand why you wouldn't tell me y'all are going to [name of town].”

When I first saw the text notification with the beginning of the sentence, I actually thought he would thank me for taking the kids to visit his parents. Turns out I was so wrong lol. There he goes again. Always playing the victim.

I’m not going to respond to his text.

If he brings it up next time in person, what’s a good way to respond?

“Why would I need to tell you?”
“You seem upset, I don’t understand why it upsets you.”
It’s none of your business.”



Listen. And validate.

"I understand you were upset that you weren't informed."

Notice, you are not agreeing he should be upset. You are not agreeing to tell him in the future. You are merely acknowledging that he was upset.

If he pushes you to agree to inform him, simply deflect. "I'll have to think about how I want to handle this in the future."

Last edited by Steve85; 06/25/20 03:29 PM.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018