Blu - it is so lovely to hear from you again. I hope you are getting on all right! You're a nurse, aren't you? I hope you are well and healthy and not working too hard.
I am happy today. Went out with my friend last night for a long walk so I have no idea if Mr Sulky McBeer or Ranty McTantrum was in the house last night. And this morning was peaceful. I feel very calm and clear and safe - not safe with my H - I don't trust him, but I do trust myself.
What you said about cycles was very true, Blu. If I'd have been in this place towards the end of last summer when I told H I didn't think he / I was ready to R, then I'd have let him have his feelings about it and worked through them on his own and concentrating on thinking about what I needed, rather than just agreeing to make do with what he had on offer because I was afraid of how he'd respond if I stuck to my guns. I just wasn't ready. I think these things take longer than we can really control.
Today I am working, going to see a different friend for a walk tonight. I've decided to cook a really nice meal as we've been making-do with quick food for a few days because I've not been in the mood, and a nice meal lifts the spirits. It is so hot here I've closed all the curtains to keep the house cool - I don't remember having to do that for years! Apparently there will be thunder storms this afternoon, and if they co-incide with my walk with my friend I'll be pleased - I love being out with a muddy dog with wet hair in warm rain and dramatic skies.
