I know you are not going to like this but you are being manipulative. Your husband has showed you from day 1 who he is as a person. Starting with the obituary and ending with the FB posts. You have bent over backwards to accommodate his moving out and his divorce. So now that you see that it isn’t working (even though we told you a million times it wouldn’t) you want to call him a POS. That’s manipulation.
He’s got you where he wants you and quite frankly I thing he’s enjoying it. You have to get your respect back.