My only caution is to ONLY do that when you are ready to be D'd. Do not do it (as LH says) to relieve pain. Do not do it as a final wake-up call for the WAS. Only do it when you are ready to move on in life without the WAS, and you are ready to end the MR.
I also only advocate it IF, IF the LBS has done all of the work on themselves. As the bald Texan TV therapist says: earn your way out. Otherwise you will have unresolved emotional baggage that you will carry with you UNTIL you deal with it.
I'm ready to D for me. Not as a wake up call or last resort but for me and my future. I plan on waiting a bit longer for covid to pass but I'm ready. I'd prefer her be the one to file but thats probably not going to happen while she's comfortable in the sitch. Until then as you mentioned, I'm going to earn my way out.
What I'm doing currently and continually working on:
Physical - walking 5 days a week, weight lifting 3x, stretching 1x. Slowly reintroducing caffeine. Continuing to stay off alcohol. Cut non fruit/veggie sugar to about 10g/day. Cut out soy (slight allergy and estrogen forming). Taking 5htp, fish oil, ACV, morning breathing exercise 7x, physical play with kids all the time.
Intellectual - reading Mindful Attraction Plan, posts here, learning a foreign language, watching content on stoicism, frame, attraction, anxiety, learning new job skill, teaching D4 basic math, discontinuing Hold on to your nuts for now.
Emotional - posting here, continuing IC, mediation 3x, self hypnosis 1x, Power of now queued up to read, visualization exercise in the AM about 3x, talking with friends and fam more frequently than past 4 years or so, fighting to keep up abundance mindset, postponing PMA.
Spiritual - majorly lacking again.
Vision - decided what I want in life. Pursuing those I can without putting my future at risk due to my sitch. Spring cleaned attic and basement, moving to garage next, consolidating and pricing my valuables for sale after D to pay off attorney.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
