I want to see more cold, angry and detached May. I know she is in there! .... And less loving, understanding and explaining/rationalizing/justifying May. .... Could it be that your giant, huge, heart and your brilliant mind are becoming your own worst enemy? Can you just take the situation and his choices at face value? He has been lying and cheating for years and continues to emotionally manipulate you, and control you, using the idea of "friendship" and family. No, he already ruined that, not you!
You have said several times that he is your best friend, your friendship has been better in the last many months, and then you describe how pleasant he acts on a daily basis (cooking, cleaning, taking the girls) etc. How do you define what "friendship" means? Because none of his actions have been friendly or considerate of you really. I think friends are honest, trustworthy and care for you (not just themselves). His caring for you looks more like he wants your acceptance and forgiveness of HIM! He wants off the hook so he can absolve his guilty conscious. That is not friendly, that is manipulation.
I am sorry for the 2*4. Not my intention. I am honestly afraid for you. I am worried that years down the road you might look back and shake your head and ask yourself why did I waste so many years of my life allowing his behavior! I want more for you. You deserve more than this bullcr-p! ... My mother-in-law would describe it perfectly in her heavy German accent (when my H would do the same nice guy things during his A) --- do not trust him, he is wolf in sheep's clothing.
I miss her. She was the best. She spit some hard truths, but she was usually right.
I know you read Alison's thread. She is done with her abuser. How much longer will you wait? People get annoyed when I say that we teach other how to treat us, and that if we let others abuse us, they will continue to,and they will never come back because they don't respect us for allowing it ..... but I think it's just another simple truth we cannot deny. ....
May, teach him you deserve more than this. Because you do! Drop the rope. Detach. There is nothing left to discuss with him right now.
Blu
Last edited by BluWave; 06/24/2009:39 PM.
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
