That's a good question, Dilly. Filing for D would not substantially change my life if he is unwilling to move out until we have a financial settlement, which would involve me buying him out of the house (I'd rather not sell it and move, and he can't afford to buy me out). I'm unwilling to buy him out of the house without a divorce as it would be financial madness. If I really really really need him to be out of the house and he is refusing, then I will have to file and grit my teeth until the finances are sorted and he leaves. Which at the moment - with lockdown and mortgage brokers being so cautious - might take longer than is needed. I've kind of decided I will get my ducks in row with finances and the paperwork, look at mortgage options, and take some financial advice as to what mortgage options would look like in six months. I can cope with him being Mr Sulky McBeer for as long as he feels like it - but if Ranty McTantrum makes more regular appearances then I will have to be more decisive. (And if Mr Sexting-With-25-Year-Olds comes out to play again, I'll probably have to bury him under the patio (JOKE))
This idea of 'standing' I am not sure of. I think I 'stood' through all kinds of abuse, and even since he came back I've been 'standing' or at least waiting for the kind of marriage I want. I think it might be happier for me to pull the plug entirely and get out there in the world and see if there's a loving, passionate, interesting person out there waiting for me. There might not be, but if there isn't I'd be no worse off than I am now - and probably significantly better in several ways that are increasingly important to me.
