Changing yourself is HARD. Changing someone else is impossible. Everyone on here learns that eventually through bitter experience. What do you have to lose if you file for D? What do you have to gain? Maybe filing for D might be what wakes him up (probably not, but you could hope for that whilst still being ok with the alternative). Giving up hope is the hardest thing of all, I really empathise with that. But maybe you can reframe it as 'this is the best thing for me right now and I'm only closing the door so it's ajar, not slamming it in his face'. You can stand for your marriage and you can file for D. I've realised that the two things are not mutually exclusive. If filing for D is the healthiest thing for you then do it, it does not necessarily mean giving up on your marriage completely. Have a hug, this stuff is tough. The fact that 50% of marriages end in D is astonishing to me, how can society function with this level of pain going on inside so many people for so many years?
