DB'ing while living in with a WAS/MLC husband

[BlueSea]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Learning to control your emotions is a difficult task. My guess he is gas lighting you trying to get you to file or ask him to leave so you're the bad gut. Stay out of his way and give him time and space. If OW is really gone then he will need time to grieve her anyways. You are at mile 1 of the marathon. The misconception is once the OP is gone things will be fine. That is actually so far from the truth.

LH - Thank you for the encouragement - everything about your statement is dead on truth. He so WANTS me to be the bad guy and kick him out....And I REALLY thought that once OW was gone, it would be different...its not. In fact, he is MORE firmly of the belief he doesnt connect with me and will never be happy with me - since he says that OW is no longer clouding his judgement (like I had said she was). Thank you for the encouragement.

Thanks Andy88!

Take your time. Let the anger subside. It is never a good way to make decisions out of emotions. Lots of LBSs have allowed their emotions, their hurt and pain, to make them make a rash decision, and then regretted it later. So take time. Let your emotions settle, And then decide how you want to proceed.

Steve -Thank you for your insight - really good advice. I have been talked off a ledge on this point. Really really appreciate that you have taken the time to stop in and drop encouragement to not give up. I need to just back off. I know I am angry right now, or was, but now just really sad.

All he does is keep telling me that he does not love me, that he will never connect with me - that he knows this in his heart. That he see's how this plays out in 5 years and he will be miserable. He says he does not even like to talk to me (big 2x4 that DBing IS the way to go) or even like me. How could he love me last year, and not love me in the least now? Are all waywards like this - saying no love, no connection, never going to work? projecting an awful future with such certainty? and the repetition of it - just over and over - its wearing me down. Do I just walk away while he is talking like that? or do I agree with him?