You know you are right I am making assumptions based on your postings which is just a microcosm of your life. $hiity dads is probably uncalled for and I apologize but your current husband is a $hitty person for what he is doing to you and I will not get off that point.
As for the text. I read in a book once that when you do something nice for someone who is treating you badly you are displaying low value. So I'm my sitch my ex has to continued to disrespect me and complicate my love so she gets nothing out of me other then what is needed in regarding kid coordination. I can't have people in my life that do not respect my feelings. It's a boundary. It goes for everyone else in my life too.
I know this isn't easy and I have a lot of compassion for you. I would really like to see you stop trying to fix this and start to move in the opposite direction.
I agree 100% that I have at times texted unnecessary items to H ---- stupid things like "what about that motorbike ride today"... "are you busy". THOSE were completely not necessary and SCREAM that I am displaying LOW VALUE.
I accept that those slip ups were driven by my anxiety. I'm disappointed in myself that I have done those things - it is definite chasing, pleading, begging behavior.
I'm not in a bad headspace and I didn't lose a bit of sleep last night whether he chose to respond or not. I'm still a work in progress but when I weighed everything carefully, made sure I had zero expectations, and made sure to only mirror that which was done for me - I felt it kept things cordial. And, with that H may not avoid the party which is still 3 weeks away.
I'm also managing zero expectations around the party. There will be many people there and no reason that he will need to interact with me at all. That being said I will not avoid him if he chooses to speak to me.
I still have my moments (though last night was not one of them) but overall I know logically there is nothing for me to fix. I must keep walking in the opposite direction. I have things to work on and I'm really doing the hard work... sometimes I can only spend 10min here or 15there because it is painful. H isn't interested in my hard work at this time. If there is a time he wants to return to looking at the M then that is the time for me to tell him I'm sorry for my disrespectful behavior... until then I have to keep it to myself.
