Here's the thing- he is 100% completely selfish. He probably wasn't before, but he is now. Everything is all about him and filling HIS needs and HIS desires. The wants and needs of others do not factor into his thinking right now. And it will be this way for a while. So when we say have no expectations, it means just that. Don't expect him to do husbandly things. Don't expect him to do fatherly things. Don't expect ANYTHING of him. You continue to expect him to do the honorable thing, and you are continually disappointed, right? His behavior has unfortunately been consistent since BD. You've got to accept that this uncaring a-hole is who he is now and drop those expectations!
Well that's just it... I'm having NO expectations for what he does or does not. I had no plans to bring it up again. He has been informed. His invite will be in the mail he picks up.
What I'm saying is that I don't know if I would get over his choice to not be there. There is no need for me to go into it here but I was always there for him and his children in ways I never should have to have been. His XW did some really crazy stuff to me personally, to my H and to his kids. He knows, his family knows and even when he BD me the first thing out of his mouth was the very fact of how vital for him with his kids when we were together (I will not go into it here but it was a very horrible situation for my H)
I do see your point about where he is at with being selfish and how that affects what he sees as important/choices.
Keep in mind in the same sentence he states it would be awkward to come to the party he turns around and says he wants to move S18 into college... for me to let him know when that is.... (TRUST ME... I'm not asking H to help move S18 to college. I'm quite capable)
So what I'm saying is if H doesn't make the effort to be there even for 30min... and then 10mo down the road starts saying he wants to repair the M. I don't think I could look past that... because S18 carries enough hurt from the situation. Like I said hurt me... whatever... hurt my kid... you'll get whats coming to you.
Either way its TONS of speculation on my part and its too much energy wasted to worry. H is an adult. H will do what he wants or doesn't want to do. The party will be awesome either way.
