I really wish you would look into IC and try to work on these problems you are having of letting go. I’m not saying it’s easy because it’s not but you are clearly suffering because you’re ignoring reality. It’s not because he’s sleep deprived. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change the fact that he has moved on with someone new. You can peacock until the cows come home and it will not change anything. Time and space are the only thing that turn these things around long term.
If you want to have it out with him that have it out with him. I just want to warn you that I have never seen that work in 5 plus years here.
You have to forgive yourself and understand that you were doing the best you could at the time. Life sometimes teaches us some tough lessons.
I don't REALLY want to have it out with him. YES, I just want to be heard but no listening going on there.
Time and space.
^^^Never been my specialty. But, I will say. In my entire life I have never worked so hard on myself for any relationship. When was still living here and he would be gone for 4 days - I never contacted. I left him be to have his space. I can't ever imagine having done that for any other relationship in my life.
Even now, yes there is periodic contact over this/that and I will admit I have made some contact which wasn't necessary... but there have been long stings of no contact in between.
I've never read so many books in my life to address my short comings. How my actions make someone else feel. What actions can I practice to do differently... and I mean practice because they are a wide step from where I am. Other things were a super quick easy fix as it was 100% down to not knowing how disrespectful it came across.
I make a list most days on what I'm grateful for. I sit each evening and decide what I did better for the day and what things made me feel better.
I'm trying things out like "let go and let god". That's a little harder as have never been overly religious so maybe "let go and let universe" is better for me? IDK... that's still a work in progress.
I've spent a lot of time reading about the breakdown of being broke up and doing things as taking them off the pedestal. Understanding why I feel the way I do.
This is not my first romantic loss............. Even one that I really wanted back or a second chance. My biggest skill was pushing people away. So for the first time in my life I'm taking the steps to not make those mistakes. Its so important that I don't make those mistakes. I don't want to do anything that will make this chasm worse.
I'm doing my best to keep swinging the spotlight on me. I'm the prize.
